I think the most common misconception about the Fiddle is that he/she is not that bright. Totally not true. Even some of the most with it people I've known online would fit into this category. They can be so completely together, right up until they get emotionally involved with someone, and all common sense flies out the window. They have absolutely no idea how sorry they look running around, pining after their love interest. You can show them blatant evidence of deception and still they go back for more.
A Fiddle also is attracted to the same type of person over and over again. So they spend much time going from one shallow relationship online to another, never realizing the problem isn't with who they're choosing, but with themselves. It's never an issue of carefully weighing the stability of the relationship, the emotional payback and whether it's an equal give and take. They'll settle for almost anyone that comes along and showers them with attention, fully prepared to sacrifice their own dignity in the process. The poor Fiddle is such an easy target, unknowingly attracting every Player in the pond with every post they send. Their actions and words are laced with a need to please, loneliness and an affinity for being a rescuer. It's like Jesus complex gone horribly wrong.
The Fiddle doesn't for one moment ever genuinely entertain any notion of what is right for them, if they're being treated fairly, if they're truly happy and if the person they're with has their best interests at heart. They really aren't concerned, actually believing that even if things aren't so great now, eventually they will love the Player into truly wanting them, moving to where they are, marrying them and living out the rest of their lives together. The sad part is, I guess, that the Fiddle is truly in their heart in love, and when the Player dumps them and moves on, the hurt is very real, very painful and very debilitating. It's no different to them than if they experienced the same loss in their real life because to them, the Internet IS their real life.
Just a little some extra I want to add here. While I've basically shown Fiddles here in a negative light, I want to make clear that almost all of the Fiddles I know are warm, caring and loving people, with no fault other than their desire to be loved and accepted. While I am showing a side of their personality that often gets them hurt time and again, it doesn't mean they're not great people. They are genuine in their friendships, for the most part, and loyal.
I suppose we could bring in another exception now. You do come across individuals who are both Players and Fiddles. They can play with the best of them, and generally do so freely and happily. Once in awhile though, they come across someone who's a little bit better at it than they are, and they unwittingly end up at the other end of the spectrum. While this is always a really fun thing to witness, it doesn't happen often and Players will deny it happened to them til their dying breath. *L*
How to spot a Fiddler? It's almost too easy...*L*
1) They Live In The Chat ~ No matter what time you go in, there they sit, sometimes not talking to anyone at all because hey, they're the only one in there. Other people live in chat as well, but we're just talking Fiddlers here.
2) They Know Everything About Everybody ~ Ask a general question in a chat room about where someone may be, and the helpful Fiddler will be right there with the answer. They know who's with who, who's broken up recently, and basically present themselves as the end all be all in chat room information.They should be, they don't ever leave.
3) Just Way Too Sweet ~ Fiddlers are just so gooey sweet. They present themselves as ne'er do wrong goody goody's alot of the time, going back to that whole need to be everyone's best friend.
4) Just Way Too Into Their Net Loves ~ You'll find Fiddlers doing all kinds of wierd things online. Cyber weddings, cyber kids, cyber houses...you name it, they can take the fantasy and make it a reality in their heads. They guard their net loves with an intense ferocity, immediately suspicious of anyone who even mentions their name. You try talking to them and the Fiddler is on you like white on rice saying stupid things like, *hands on hips* "Hey, that's MY man!"
5) Even The Cool Ones Are Silly Sometimes ~ Event the absolute coolest Fiddler you know is capable of doing some pretty bizarre things when it comes to their net mates. Going off all sneaky like with them, talking about hooking up real life to live together (hey, it happens), getting into incredible fights over something as stupid as not emailing that day. Even cool people get sucked in.